Jill - I'm infatuated with you - An autobiographical memo from Cleopatra Jones

No bones about it...You are amazing and I'm infatuated with you. I am in love with all that you are and every way you move. The way you eat. The way you help my pack leader organize her house. The way you file. All so perfect and precise. All so amazingly wonderful. I follow you around like a lost puppy because I am lost without you.You obviously clean yourself because your scent is addicting every time I am around you.  I just want a lick for a single taste of your perfectly soft and cleaned skin. Just one lick on the arm? Is it too much to ask? Just one taste of your steak dinner? I know your dinner tastes the best.  Just a nibble? What I would do for a stroll with you around the block. Just you, me, and the squirrels. Can you imagine? I lay next to you as close as you will let me get waiting for a pet on my head or my back. I'll wait. I'll be patient because I do love you so. Thank you for being such a wonderful person. I have heard so much about what you have done to help others.  I strive to be a better dog because of you. Thank you for the gifts you have sent me and letting me stay in your den. I know it's not the easiest thing for you, but it really does mean the world to me. I love you Jill for now and forever.I swear my paw on it.

Barking at the Carpet Cleaning Man - a two hour musical

(Please sing while reading along)

I'm barking at the carpet cleaning man... I'm barking, I'm barking .. at the carpet cleaning man..
He pulled up in our driveway in a suspicious looking van.. I'm barking, I'm barking ... at the carpet cleaning man.

Is he male? YES! Is he a stranger? YES! Do I know his scent? NO!
These are all validated facts that make my trust in this person very much lax

I'm barking, I'm barking, at the carpet cleaning man for two hours until he leaves in his van.

Get out of here. Please go. Please leave. I want you to get out of here you must believe.
You're sweaty, you're shady, and no lady. Get out of here you carpet cleaning man!

Take your big scary vacum and your suspicious white van and please...please I never want to see you again.. you carpet cleaning man!

Is she okay?

Smells funny

I certainly do smell something....something funny going on around here. My pack leader hasn't been cleaning herself lately...and she's been hanging at the den all day for the last week...it smells funny indeed

I smell something.  Do you, Cleo? Birch.